I was single when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Freshly divorced too. I’m still single, because let’s be honest, I’m insecure about what my right boob and armpit now look like, never mind the fact that I’m still carrying 40 pounds of Tamoxifen weight. So, when I think about the idea of being naked in front of another human being, it makes me want to run upstairs into my bedroom, rip open my dresser drawers, pull out and put on every single pair of big panties, sweatpants and baggy sweatshirts I own all at the same time. But that’s the easy part. The emotional stuff is harder.

Scanxiety may not officially be a real word, but the feelings it brings about are real. Very Well Health defines scanxiety as the term used to “describe the anxiety people with cancer feel while waiting for scans”. Regardless of whether the scans are for diagnostic purposes, monitoring treatment, checking recurrence or as a check-up, individuals can experience apprehension before, during, and while waiting for the results of their scans. The apprehension and fear that is felt can range from feeling claustrophobic in the scan machine to imagining the worst-case scenario of the scan results. Many people experience scanxiety so it is important to learn coping techniques that help eliminate the anxiety.

Your surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments are finished.  You think you should be celebrating your return to normal.  But you don’t feel the same as you did before your cancer diagnosis.  Breast cancer has changed you in many ways:  physically, emotionally, spiritually.