This was not (and sometimes still isn’t) easy. I blamed and shamed my way through surgery and treatment. As a result, I held my breast cancer diagnosis close to my heart, not really talking about it or sharing about my experiences with anyone beyond my tight circle of confidants. It wasn’t until a friend pushed me to write an article about my experience with breast cancer that I started to crack open and search for a different way to go through it.

For me, hearing these words felt like I was falling into a deep pit that I had no way of crawling out of. My diagnosis wasn’t something I could negotiate or talk my way out of either—two things I am fairly good at. This lack of control and inability to change my situation hit me hard. I had to accept that cancer was my new reality, and this filled me with fear. The feelings that followed oscillated between depression and anxiety—and they weren’t fleeting.